Posted on May 27, 2011 in Latest Rugby News
Apparently, Joe Schmidt said in the press before the Heineken Cup final that finals were games of two halves.
Now, I’m not sure, and I couldn’t tell you which paper carried the story, but in the finest journalistic tradition I shan’t let this bother me. Even if he didn’t say it, he should have, as there are unlikely to be too many more examples as good as that. I’d always expected Northampton to get blown away by Leinster, something that I think I shared with most people who watched a lot of the Magners League this season. The Saints are a very good team but right now Leinster look a class above and their ability to suddenly just go up a gear is New Zealand-esque. However, until half time it looked like more amusing comparisons with the All Blacks would be made. It wasn’t just that Northampton were doing everything right, but Leinster looked bent on doing everything wrong. We all know how it ended; pretty awesomely for the neutral.
Both coaches have probably asked themselves how they improve. There are not a lot of obvious answers for either, although both men will have found more things than me, on account of knowing a hell of a lot more about rugby. The big glaring exception to that for Northampton has already been mentioned by Mallinder, and that is he asks more from his first fifteen than any other in the British Isles. How much fatigue aided the blue steamroller that Jonny Sexton drove all over Northampton is impossible to say, so I’ll skip straight to the interesting question –
What are you going to do about it Jim?
There’s been very little to stop him rotating at any point this season except a distrust of his backup players. Pretty much all of whom he brought to the club, some of whom have performed quite impressively with their opportunities. Most people would like Joe Ansbro, for example, and Shane Geraghty will get another club easily enough. Maybe it’s the realisation that when Lee Dickson is out, Northampton die on their arse, that prevented him from doing so. I couldn’t say. But I’ll make my first prediction about next season now. If he doesn’t, Northampton will finish this season like the last; in a good position, with plenty of plaudits, but with no silverware. Except maybe the Amlin Cup.
With that clumsy segue, I’d like to talk about Harlequins for a moment. Their victory was far from convincing, largely because they showed the sort of courage Sir Humphrey Appleby liked to talk about when frightening politicians. However, providing they either find a sense of pragmatism, or the ability to genuinely pull off that style of rugby at the highest level, London’s finest vampires look set for a bright future. In particular, Marler-Gray-Johnston is one of the busiest front rows I’ve seen in a while, and if they can keep it together it’s going to have a real effect as they mature. Keeping this team together, in fact, is what I’d say Harlequins main problem is. As their young stars hit their straps and get their international caps – Marler’s nailed on, while surely even Johnson can’t keep on ignoring Robshaw – the wage demands will go up. They’ve already lost Strettle. Camacho, apparently, is next.
I am pro-wage cap. I remain pro-wage cap. But must admit the fact that Harlequins’ possible reward for developing these players will be to lose a considerable number of them once they hit their best is not something I’m comfortable with. England needs clubs like Harlequins, as evidenced by the fact that they’ve got six players in the squad to face the Barbarians, and several others with grounds for complaint. Robshaw had best be missing because he’s too good to risk in that game. I’m not saying remove the cap. But a degree of flexibility to reward clubs like Harlequins, and clubs like Leicester and Northampton who provide the spine of the England team, should be included.
Anyway, I’d rather talk about the Baabaas game now. Or rather, the ridiculous squad picked for it. Don’t get me wrong. I like it and wish I was going, which wasn’t true until I saw it. But Johnson could not make his feelings clearer about this game without resorting to Catherine Tate impressions. I mean, Brookes, Mullan, Kitchener, Clegg and Trinder? All players I’d love to see in an England shirt (except maybe Clegg, who is not as deserving as Freddie Burns if you ask me) but if they’re going to the World Cup I suggest we all keep our holidays clear as clearly a selective disease is targeting English rugby players. Why have we picked three fly-halves for one game anyway? However, in his imperious disdain, Johnson is handing out some good early chances for youngsters to shine and stake a claim for post-world cup. In particular I think Kitchener and Marler could be England fixtures very quickly afterwards. And if this starts the process for getting Brookes tied to England, I am all in favour. I am mildly curious as to why he’s chosen to tie his fortune to England instead of being the guaranteed next starting Irish tighthead for until he’s John Hayes’ age, but there’s no reason to look a gift prop in the mouth. Although it does look odd that he was so little used by England U20 last year, and now here he is getting a taste of senior life.
I’m going to finish this entry on a lighter note. Apparently Ulster’s lack of second-rows has driven them to the point where they’ve basically asked every tall athlete in the province to turn up and see how they go. Yup. Tall, Athletic, Determined, fancy a crack at a pro rugby career? If you’re Irish, get thee to Ulster. Me, I’m wondering if they’re not casting their net a little too wide. I appreciate that to a large degree the duties of lock basically go “Be really big” and “work hard”. Oh, and “jump”. But even in the second row there are some intricacies. So I’ve put together this little questionnaire to help sort the wheat from the chaff…
A fight has broken out and the ref’s spotted it. Are you:
a) Sauntering away from it having thrown the first punch with no one on the opposition any the wiser it was you.
b) Nowhere near it.
c) Caught redhanded drawing back your fist for another go – and since you’re going to get binned anyway, you might as well…
The ball comes to you with the opposition short on numbers. Do you:
a) Run at the nearest man and put the afterburners on, hoping to either brush off the tackle or get an offload away
b) Throw a twenty five yard miss-pass and promptly cut the overlap down to a one on one
c) Lumber back towards the opposition and try to trample the first man in the wrong coloured shirt you see.
Ahh, line out time. Your call is:
a) Do a little shuffle in the middle suspiciously reminiscent of proto-morris dancing before soaring like an eagle to catch it at the back and provide some quality ball
b) Some sort of clever dick move in which the scrum-half pops into the front.
c) Straight to the front. Straight down. The scrum-half’s screaming for it. Ignore him, he’s an odious little tit. Instead, beckon the boys in for a maul.
The tryline beckons! You are here because:
a) You’ve just run a lungbursting support line to get there and crash over as the backs are too girly to break the last tackle on their own
b) You were loitering on the wing waiting for the cross field kick.
c) Its the tenth pick and drive. The fly-half now hates you because the pack ignored a three man overlap to dot down in the corner instead. Good.
A candidate who answers mostly As could do well in the second row, but frankly seems a little too cunning and glory hungry. And fast. Is probably destined to play 6.
A candidate who answers mostly Bs barely counts as a human being and will probably migrate to the backs. They’d probably be more use playing basketball.
A candidate who answers mostly Cs however is the real McCoy. A true, old fashioned lock, the sort of man who ends up playing prop years later for someone’s 4th side after scrummaging’s knocked the height out of him and he’s got fat. Only problem is he’s so old school he’ll spend most of his life suspended; just think of it as squad rotation. Maybe Mallinder should sign Attwod and Cudmore.
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